First Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben get fired and now they want to take away our Newport cigarettes. Is anything of Black Americana left sacred? Who knows, maybe this will be a good thing and I can meet an eligible bachelor at the Backwoods Matter March.
I’m back again for volume 3 and I have a few things to note before we countdown the week
UPDATE: One day after I wrote about UPenn’s horrifying transgression of hoarding the remains of young black children, they issue an apology + hired a black legal team to investigate their bullshit. Also:
The funeral home spilled the tea revealing they were to pick up the “missing” remains from Dr. Alan Mann’s home. Talk about skeletons in the closet.
CORRECTION: Last week I hastily remarked that we “lost DMX to drugs.” I don’t know that to be a fact, and I don’t wish to speculate.
Technically all we’ve officially heard is that he had a heart attack… Sharing this great article from Dr. Carl Hart of Columbia University, He’s black neuroscientist who studies drugs…and he argues the media should focus on heart disease vs. addiction in reporting this story.
NEW CATEGORY: Since “meh” is the modern motif of current events…I’ve decided that some things aren’t LATE nor GREAT…just simply NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
10) Justin Bieber’s Dreadlocks
Didn’t he already try to do this before and got called out for cultural appropriation? Although he loves the Lord, Biebs doesn’t give two fucks about what you think about his brand new greasy ‘do. After posting his new look, he followed up with a cryptic post about insecurity.
Sweetie, your follicles are insecure about being matted together. I don’t always mind white people wearing braids...and I’m not sure if I’m willing to say that hairstyles can “belong to a race” (Jewish people can have natural afros) EXCEPT this right here and right now.
Also, want to point out that when referencing a black person with the same hairstyle I would call them “locs” and not include “dread” which has negatively racist connotation…Justin however, has dreadlocks.
9) FDA Banning Menthols
Joe Biden’s FDA announced this week their plan to ban menthol cigarettes and all flavored tobacco. Why don’t we start with banning lynching? I understand that cigarettes are bad for you and truthfully I wish I didn’t smoke them. However, I’m not in line with prohibition unless it’s for fentanyl. I don’t think the government should have the right to pick our poison for us, after allowing us to grow addicted!
Not to mention, this proposed banned is totally racist in the guise of helping black people. It reminds me of the 2018 smoking ban in NYCHA housing, when they needed to focus on making sure the heat and water works. This menthol ban is discriminatory against blacks, just because we have the better taste buds.
Just like the ad says, if smoking isn’t a pleasure, why bother?
Honestly, menthol cigarettes are some of the last things I like about America. How can Joe Biden pander to us saying, “you’re not black if you don’t vote for me” and then turn around and try to ban Newports? Why not ban all cigarettes? Also, you’re not allowed to ban menthols until you issue reparations…once we get our money, we won’t need to stress smoke anymore.
8) Kamala Harris says America’s not racist
Soon into producing a few videos honoring Kamala for winning a few months ago, I knew I would regret it one day. At the very least, I ran my bans up.
Harris came out this week stating that America isn’t racist…but we need to acknowledge our racist history. What does that even mean? Again, where are my reparations?
Kamala, is America not racist because you are Vice President now? These are harmful words from Harris and an absolute lie. Similar to banning Aunt Jemima and the 1619 Project, it seems like the powers that be want us to forget that racism is real.
Why would the Biden Administration sign an Anti Asian Bill…if America isn’t racist? America just doesn’t have the heart to deal with their crimes against Black Americans and our ancestors.
P.S if America isn’t racist why are video games (the country’s favorite pasttime) riddled with racists? See below
NEITHER HERE NOR THERE
7) DJ Khaled’s New Album
There are few decent bops on here, but did we truly need this? Of course, I like the Drake songs we already heard, love Cardi’s shit talking on “Big Paper,” and I like the Lil Baby & Durk song…but everything else?
Who asked DJ Khaled to remix all of these songs? I am aware that this is a recipe that producers have used for decade, Diddy did it with Biggie and Saweetie does it for a living…but where is the originality?
This man had Justin Timberlake singing over “All That I Got Is You.” That’s literally blasphemous. The song was already perfect
On the Jay-Z and Nas song I was a bit underwhelmed and confused. Hov was pretty good in a 1%er mogul rapper way, but Nas said, “drink heavily, health is wealth.” HUH? What that mean?
6) Black Rob (RIP)’s Funeral Stream
I got in the shower at 8:50 AM with my iPad propped up against my flower vase on the sink so I could watch the 9AM service. I must’ve forgot that black funerals start late, but this started about an hour and a half late. They had this horrible instrumental playing and a slideshow for that entire time.
Then, when it finally starts there’s all these unbearable audio/visual issues and I find myself growing furious with Diddy as I’m watching the stream on Revolt TV’s YouTube (which has now deleted it, probably for the best…but you can watch it here) and it feels like Diddy has once again dropped the ball in adequately supporting one of his artists! In the afterlife!
When the service finally gets going, there’s a man moaning and groaning singing a song horribly after saying that he didn’t even know Rob. A wonderful highlight was G Dep’s sons reading a message he sent from behind bars. Harve Pierre, former president of Bad Boy Records (who I haven’t seen since Making The Band) had a difficult time holding himself together. During his speech, he shouted out the person who made the horrible aforementioned instrumental.
Since Harlem was in the building, the mood turned rugged like Rucker with people screaming that they were there with Rob since day one, which I kind of enjoyed because I love mess.
RIP Black Rob.
5) Dr. Umar on The Breakfast Club
Although I don’t fully agree with everything he says, he raised some interesting facts about the Anti Asian Hate & Trans Bills that Biden passed fairly quickly into his term… while, we still have yet to get an Anti-Lynching bill passed…for decades.
Unfortunately, with their actions and statements this week…the Biden Administration is proving Dr. Umar correct, that they have no solid plan of action dedicated just to black people, and don’t want to embrace history.
4) DMX (RIP)’s Funeral Day 2
Let’s talk about the good things first: December 18th is now known in New York State as Earl Simmons Day! He got a bunch of proclamations from the Senate, his children were beautiful and eloquent and there was a message from The Honorable Minister Farrakhan….legendary.
Now for the mess… Russell Simmons sent in a weird rambling video from Bali, where he’s hiding to avoid being arrested to rape in the states. He talked for so long without even mentioning DMX. What a loser, I used to look up to this guy.
Lyor Cohen also sent a strange video message…he didn’t show his face but did voiceover under some obscure footage of a lake. He said this line I didn’t like, “I always knew you would crash against a wall.” Who the fuck says that at someone’s funeral??
DMX deserved more from the men of Def Jam, a label that he saved from financial ruin.
Lastly, Faith Evans…. her performance was unbelievably terrible. The camera man was maybe having a seizure in the beginning, everyone in the video looked high and confused and didn’t know the words. Also, why are you passing the microphone off to these nobodies? And worst of all…she wasn’t wearing shoes! Here’s a clip of Faith & Co after the shaky camera man gets more settled.
Death is difficult for some to deal with…
3) Hazel London’s Vaccine Event
My Doppleganger Hazel London, of Belle Noche Meme fame went back to her roots and held an event at the illustrious Bella Noche Nightclub in Baton Rouge, where folks could come get a selfie with her, some crawfish and of course get their vaccine or whatever. What a damn queen!
2) Thug & Gunna pay peoples bail
My two favorites, Young Thug and Gunna of Young Stoner Lifestyle had a number one album last week…and the celebrated by bailing out 30 non violent offenders from a local Georgia jail. This truly warmed my heart, as I’m a huge fan of helping people especially when you’re at your highest points.
I didn’t necessarily need them to record the folks getting out for their new video but until I bail someone out I guess that’s not my place to say….
1) Katt Williams on Fat Joe’s Podcast
I was up late on Friday night writing a special edition of the newsletter which will be coming soon, when I refreshed YouTube and saw that Katt Williams appeared on Fat Joe’s instagram podcast show thing. Surprisingly, Joe’s show is decent enough…his Lil Uzi interview was a stand out.
Katt Williams is an absolute genius, and if you haven’t watched any of his interviews please do. The man was raised in a brothel, loves God and is just so very wise…he has many things to teach us.
Although Joe could barely keep up with the game that Katt was spitting, often screaming over him to ask the next question… I was able to pick up a few MAJOR GEMS that Katt said that I’d like to share before I go:
“You cannot afford to play with things you can’t fix”
“As long as Jesus had 12 followers…I’m not going to get caught up in the numbers.”
“The L’s create the superiority.”
“I made my money off verbiage.”
Phew chile, can I get an Amen or at least