Happy Sunday Baddies! Welcome to the first newsletter of April. There are FIVE weekends this month, which feels celebratory enough to note.
Yesterday was one of the most insufferable days to be online because 1) the weather was nice 2)
Everyone’s stupid little pranks… We don’t care, muffin!
It’s against my personal religion to be a joke so I don’t associate with this holiday. I am the main ingredient, but I ain’t no fool !
BLACK MEMES, WHITE TWEETS BY FRANTZ FANON 🐧
This week, highly trusted news source CNN reported on a very important issue
I’m not sure how I really feel about this, if can be stopped nor if I actually care. Who is making these rules? Can we focus on the rules on weapons? We should place our attention on the digital manifesto to machine gun massacre pipeline which accelerates everyday.
AI STANDS FOR ACTUALLY IDIOTIC 👖
Dungaree corporation Levi’s reported this week that they will be using AI models to “increase diversity and sustainability” instead of actually hiring diverse models. They really tried it.
When faced with backlash Big Jeans revised their statement saying that they don’t see their pilot program as a means to “advance diversity,” even though that’s what they originally said. I feel no ways because who is really buying brand new Levi’s? We thrift used ones, and that’s no shade!
HARLEM MEN TALKING IN A VERY HARLEM WAY
I can’t recall when it happened, but I guess Cam and Mase are back cool again. In my mind it’s still 2004 and Dipset is still coming for Mason Betha’s neck:
Cam’ron (and Mase) have a new YouTube series aptly titled “It is What It is” and it’s good but very Harlem at the same time (rude, misogynistic, lot’s of “no homos” & “pause”) etc… so if you’re easily injured by words grab your crutches and keep stepping.
They talk mainly about sports but sprinkle in lots of braggadocious banter only found uptown Manhattan. Plus every episode is supplemented with Cam’ron’s commercials for his sexual enhancement product, Pink-Horse Power.
highlights…
in episode 3, Cam speaks about Tom Brady & Gisele’s break up. Cam’ron hints that he cursed Gisele out during fashion week one year and I’m DYING to know more about that. He better watch it, coz she def know some distorted Candomblé (prolly not the real version coz she branca)…how else do you think Brady was winning dem bowls? 🪄
in episode 5 comes for Mario Chalmer’s LIFE, taunting him CRAZILY for his low salary & whatever international team he plays for and says he can beat him in basketball… Chalmer responded, in a poorly lit video
Overall— this is a huge win for Harlem. As you’ll recall… the Diplomats were DOWN BAD a few years back at the Verzuz. We covered this sad story two years ago in volume 16:
NEW EMOJIS DROPPED…STILL NONE WE ASKED FOR
Apple has released iOS 16.4 which I haven’t downloaded yet because I’m a little underwhelmed but I will. They’re okay I guess. Here’s a few
The jelly fish is fire. The ginger is cool…is the afro pick is aight ( can white people use that)?
BUT THE PINK HEART EMOJI IS THE WRONG SHADE. WE WANT LIGHT PINK, OBVIOUSLY.
GLO-FIGER
Speaking of things nobody asked for… Memphis rapstress GloRilla has apparently released a collab with Tommy Hilfiger Jeans.
Black people everywhere online were up in arms as they recalled the racist comment from the 90s that Tommy Hilfiger never made about not wanting negros in his clothes. Facts don’t matter though.
I’m most upset that at the dungaree design, the british rappers, and the overall creative direction. However, we are mostly always happy when a black women is gettin her corporate coin.
ICE SPICE IS HARPER BAZAAR’S MARCH MUSIC DIRECTOR
Sure? I guess I’m widdit. As previously mentioned, black queen get your paper.
Because I’m a dramatic Black nerd, all I could think about when I read this was how Harper’s Weekly (Bazaar’s pappy) used to publish stories like this about the peculiar institution of slavery. I guess we’ve come a long way (have we?)
Anyways- speaking of slavery, I have to go finish my annual viewing of the best film ever The Ten Commandments from 1956. Talk soon.
-Baddie5000
A truly delicious round up btw x
AI is really getting on my last nerve!! And apple emojis just get more and more random like???😭 maracas and an Afro comb??