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let me clear my throat
I was going to write “hi Baddie Gang,” but with all these RICOs being handed out like peppermints from church-going grandmothers, I refrained.
In order to be hit with a RICO you have to be making some form of money and as your lucky ass knows… this newsletter is free. However the way I toil over this you would think I was getting a cute coin…
Baddie5000 is priceless anyway, let’s be for real. Nothing is free anymore unless you buy something else… plus I don’t feel like I’m ever going to run out of soul-touching things to skillfully say. in that case, must I always monetize my mind? just to reach somebody else’s measure of success?
PRAS DON’T LIKE AI, DO I?
Speaking of someone else’s POV, Fugee’s international badboy rapper Pras wants a retrial for his current conviction. He is basing this on the strength (or weakness) of the fact that his lawyer used AI to write his closing statement, which allegedly contained costly errors.
Pras was found guilty in a foreign influence scheme—- which sounds like he was doing bad business with popular Dubai Instagram accounts… but it was actually with some Malaysian politician who was pressed to garner some good ol American attention.
Pras claims also that his lawyer used an AI program which he (the lawyer) also has financial interests in. Which adds an extra dash of pumpkin spice into this legal latte.
Not going to lie— this is a crafty as fuck defense. Maybe he should’ve represented himself to begin with?
Laws around AI are still being thought of and decided, workers are striking over the threat of being replaced.
At it’s current phase (?), AI can only exist with a human prompt. Sure, it can write bullshit paragraphs that, to anyone who reads often enough, read as bullshit paragraphs… but can it feel? Does it know nuance? How detailed are the details?
I know some writers (not me and could never be) who use AI, saying it helps them organize their thoughts. I wish I would. I thought that was the whole purpose of me opting to be a “wRiTeR.” That I was the one who was supposed to think the things and organize them into words.
Maybe I’m working harder not smarter— I’m guess I’m just traumatized from all those years of having to “show my work,” in math class. So I stay prepared to do that.
DON’T ENVY DJ ENVY
I’m hoping that DJ Envy and his legal team are prepared to show all of their work and receipts, as things are heating up in what is being called online the “Real Estate RICO” (some even calling Envy this) even though right now it’s just a ponzi scheme-not-yet-a-RICO.
In case you live a fulfilling life and haven’t heard, NYCPower 105.1 DJ Envy (formerly known as DJ Shrimp) is mixed up in some bad business. His ex-con former business partner is all over the news with dozens of people saying he scammed them out of money. The alleged scammer was just arrested for wire fraud. There was a rumor that Envy’s office at iHeart Radio was raided but I’m not sure if that’s true.
DJ Envy, like most people in media, used nepotism and had his shady friend on The Breakfast Club promoting the housing scam many times. That’s not a good look. Some of the scamee’s are citing Envy’s stardom as the sole reason they invested, which may then in turn may leave Envy liable.
Hot 97’s DJ Funk Master Flex — who could be in the WWE or on Broadway with his epic theatrics and audio audacity… has been taunting DJ Envy about this for weeks. He said Envy’s boss should get fired, not Envy. He’s talking spicy and I’m into it. This is my sports. Flex takes things a little far as usual, but he reveals his personal reasons for wanting to see Envy and others at iHeart fall.
Sometimes I wonder if I chose the wrong career— look at Flex. I’m aware of the dangers of comparing your life to someone else’s but support or my delusion for a stanza. Flex’s literal life is getting paid to talk shit directly to your opps…naming names live on the radio while dropping your iconic bomb sound effects in between, and playing a song or two.
If I were uglier in the face I would pivot to a radio career immediately… seems like the lane’s wide open.
DOLLY PARTON IS A G
It has been reported that Dolly Parton is only reachable via fax— because she’s “surrounded by enough people.” She is the epitome of goals, bring back beepers or something. I deeply wish to relate to this.
MARKETING MAMI OF THE WEEK
Kali Uchis has an album dropping in January 2024 but I’m already excited based on her visuals alone. In one of the most creative ways I’ve ever seen, she dropped her album tracklist as a tattoo on her back.
I’m inspired on so many levels — and from my research she’s her own creative director. I wish she could outsource her services to clients like the City Girls who desperately need some adjustments.
The City Girl’s new album “RAW” really isn’t great as an acronym (Real Ass Whores) or an album. I love them both deeply though, sorry about that.
RIP THE 45 KING
This week the legendary producer Mark the 45 King passed away. Maybe you haven’t heard of him but you’ve definitely heard his creations.
Producer of Queen Latifah’s first album All Hail the Queen, Eminem’s “Stan”— which regardless of how you feel about it or him —is in the history books for creating a new noun/verb combo in our societal lexicon— and Jay-Z’s immeasurable “Hard Knock Life” with the Annie sample… to name a few.
But perhaps his most impactful contribution is “900 Number,” which will forever be a massive sound
On 900 Number, 45 King fascinatingly samples Marva Whitney’s “Unwind Yourself” from 1968… which I should get tattooed on my face if we’re keeping it a buck
The title of this newsletter of course comes from DJ Kool’s sampling of 900 Number for “Let Me Clear my Throat.” Another critically important classic.
We are better off as a human society thanks to the contributions of The 45 King… Rest in Peace to him and Marva Whitney, angels.
Thank you for reading yet another volume. Hope you enjoyed whatever I just said. I fought hard through many an Amazon delivery to put this out today, but it feels nice that I did.
If you too are struggling to get something done, just think about how it feels to sneeze…or clear your throat. Everything leading up to that point is super annoying, but the release is so satisfying and trumps everything prior.
Wishing you a good evening and a mucus free Monday.