💐 spring cleaning 🧹(life's liposuction)🔪
volume 20
Happy Spring Eve! It’s cold today but I can feel my serotonin heating up as I type.
I almost didn’t write this because I didn’t want to…But that’s not how you make a good 20th impression. Speaking of impressions please follow Baddie5000 on instagram.
IG followers are the new currency, and unlike Dollar Tree I’m tryna keep on buying unfertilized chickens.
I wouldn’t say I’m a quitter, but I’ve thought about it. However, how I’ma habitually have the Hollandaise if I don’t work hard ?
LAW ROACH TO SCATTER FROM FASHION LIKE IT’S A RAID CAN? 🪳
This week South Side Chicago fashion stylist Law Roach announced in an unstylish instagram post that he was quitting fashion. I didn’t like the font of the lazy “retired” graphic he used.
It seems like The Oscars were the powder keg for Roach’s combustion. The awards seemed stressful for this little bit of branded red carpet cardboard everyone had to stand on, as well.
I didn’t watch the Oscars. Look how Rihanna showed up. She didn’t, so why should I care?
Law is known for his stellar styling of part black queen Zendaya, as well as Jamaican singer Celine Dion. Because I have one, I love Law’s attitude
Many celebrities came out digitally to support Law and beg him not to quit.
The comment section is the only real place left in the world, and typed words are the best form of human support obviously. Help me help you in helping me:
Law sat down with The Cut to clear the air about his recent drama and why he’s quitting his job. I didn’t realize that he was the “first black stylist working with A list white talent.” Sadly enough that’s still seen as a major accomplishment as of Spring 2023.
Any environment where only a few are meant to succeed is never a healthy one.
Law speaks:
“[For] Black people in this country, it’s embedded in us to suffer, right? We feel like to be successful, we have to suffer….I don’t wanna suffer no more. I don’t wanna be unhappy.”
Despite everything that occurs in our lives… happiness, like health, is an active choice we have to make everyday.
SURGERY SCARIES 🔪
I have been totally entranced by Blac Chyna’s transparency in removing her silicon butt shots, fake boobies and face fillers.
Chyna (who I’d like to call by her real name in respect of her transformation back to self, Angela White) has been sharing her entire journey online, as one does.
I’m obsessed with her honesty just like everyone’s obsessed with lying as if they didn’t get surgery. Also obsessed with her black surgeon Dr. Matlock.
It is very interesting to see the trend of BBL Baddies going back to where they started. Natural body gyals up!
Angela isn’t the only one keeping it real about fake enhancements.
Jamaican Queen of the Dancehall, Grace Hamilton aka Spice came out this week with her own scalpel story.
Several months ago it was reported that Spice fell ill after having surgery, but she never really spoke about it until now.
I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say she had a hernia on her side that her boob job surgeon didn’t know about (huh?) but it ended up saving her life because her intestines ruptured next to the hernia but then she got sepsis & her tummy skin rotted and she almost died but didn’t, Jah Bless.
Spice dropped this incredible music video “God a Bless Me” fully equipped with a Gloria Gaynor interpolation up top… chronicling her near death experience. It’s my new favorite song!
Here’s a likkle:
“No matter what, dem can’t depress me...Success caress me.”
Quick, somebody send this chune to Law Roach!
Now that we’re back where we started I’ll stop here. But not before I pay homage to an alabaster king.
#1 WHITE GUY DIES
I’d be remiss if I didn’t pay tribute to one of the greatest white men to ever live, Bobby Caldwell who passed away this week. The NYC born singer had the voice of an angel, and was friends with the best other Bob, Marley.
His song “Open Your Eyes” was skillfully sampled on Commons “The Light,” both songs are about me.
Don’t worry if you didn’t know that Bobby was white, this is the only time in life that race doesn’t matter.
I’ll end this (for real) with a video of DMX singing Bobby’s most popular song.
-Baddie5000
I just gotta say…..so grateful to have this newsletter back. Its giving vital. Its giving ital. ♥️💚💛
Ahhh this was such a good read and gave me a good chuckle. The Law Roach scattering from fashion like it’s a raid can toon me out 💀