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volume 9

The moon has finally exited Cancer and entered Leo, meaning we should all be feeling less of a mess sometime soon. I surely hope so because this week’s energy felt wild for me. Mercury Retrograde is almost over though. In celebration of this emotional feat, I offer you nothing, because I’m giving it all to myself.

Well, I suppose I do have a few things for you. In honor of our 9th volume, here are nine things that caught my eye this week…

LATE

9) Billionaires/millionaires gift fellow billionaire a Bentley (we don’t care)

This is the epitome of “you should’ve left this in the drafts.” What would make any of these people think the rest of us want to see Robert Kraft get more things?

Pop Crave @PopCrave

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft reacts to Meek Mill, Jay-Z, and Michael Rub gifting him the Bentley of his dream for his 80th birthday.

Not to mention, he doesn’t even look that excited. Kraft is so rich that the court essentially threw away the tapes of him paying for sex at a Florida (of course) massage parlor…so he didn’t get charged.

This is so sad because I used to like Jay-Z and Meek…at least I liked their music.

Remember when Meek Mill trended because he was being stingy with the young Atlanta entrepreneurs on the side of the road? But this NFL Billionaire who owns and pays for use of bodies… can get a free Bentley. Like I said, they could’ve left this in the drafts.

8) Where does Eric Adams live?

This week journalists were besides themselves trying to figure out where Brooklyn Borough President/ NYC Mayor candidate Eric Adams lives. Brooklyn, or New Jersey? I also read he was sleeping in BK Borough Hall since COVID.

Adams appears to be lying, and has a lot of sus stories about where he resides. He also has a lot of fridges. He’s apparently a vegan with fish in his fridge, which also looks like his son’s fridge:

charlie @sea_trains

FRIDGEGATE: eric adams 2016 fridge, 2017 fridge, purported 2021 fridge, and new jersey fridge. you decide!

Could you vote for a man who is being sus about his address? On the one hand I can relate to this, I’m a private person…but I’m also not running for mayor.

Lincoln Bardo @bardo_lincoln

@sea_trains @loud_socialist It looks like 3 different fridges. The crisper on the first Bed-Stuy pic has a little indentation on the top, and the recent Bed-Stuy pic is a different crisper.

Courtney Gross @courtneycgross

.@ericadamsfornyc also said on @CNN he lives on “Lafayette Place.” His townhouse is on “Lafayette Avenue.”

Early primary voting in NYC has started so make sure you read Twitter (fountain of knowledge) help you decide who to choose!

7) Florida Cancels Critical Race Theory

I admire Florida for never switching up and consistently being insufferable, along with Texas. This week Florida has cancelled the teaching of critical race theory in schools.

CNN @CNN

After hours of debate and public comment, the Florida State Board of Education unanimously approved the amendment banning critical race theory

cnn.itFlorida bans teaching critical race theory in schoolsAudience members against the amendment chanted “Allow teachers to teach the truth” during public comments.

Critical race theory introduces the concept that racism lives within our American legal, societal and cultural systems. This isn’t even a theory, it’s true.

Then again, Florida is where we all go when we want to just forget life’s real miseries. So this makes sense for them.

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NEITHER HERE NOR THERE

6) Pooh Shiesty isn’t a liar

This story is terrible, but in rap culture when you actually live the words in your raps, that’s seen as a good thing I guess. My problematic-fave-from-Memphis, Pooh Shiesty’s most popular line in his now 2x platinum song “Back in Blood” says,

Bitch, I got my own fire [I] don’t need security in the club

Fire here is another word for weaponry. And apparently he wasn’t lying because this week he was arrested for allegedly firing a gun in the club over a money dispute. The bullet hit…a security guard.

Maybe the people playing with his money, thought he was just rapping to be rapping and he wasn’t really trying to tell us something. I for one, would always make sure my business dealings with Shiesty were up to par.

On one of my favorites, “Neighbors” Shiesty gloats that he could have someone “whacked” for cash OR a couple of Percocets. It was then I knew he was not the man to play with.

5) Celebrity fights I stole

This was the wackiest week in “boxing” since Mike Tyson bite homie’s ear off. Last Sunday, Floyd Mayweather faced off against Logan Paul…which I’ve previously touched on in vol 4 where I said Mayweather was fighting Logan’s brother Jake Paul. I never cared enough to correct it.

I am #1 indoor kid, so I had multiple bootleg streams to the fight…I was never paying to watch a real boxer fight a kid from YouTube. The fight was pretty underwhelming because Floyd never knocked out Logan Paul. The highlights of this fight were Migos performing and Floyd walking out to our other Memphis favorite, MoneyBagg Yo.

Then, over the weekend Lamar Odom fought Aaron Carter in a sobriety showdown. As expected, Lamar who is 6’10 beat the breaks off Carter who is 6’0.

Again, the musical performances were the highlight with both C-listers walking out to their homeboys rapping. Hilarious.

If you care— Peter Gunz & Cisco from Love & Hip Hop and Deja Vu(Uptown Baby) fame fought and there was also a Tik Toker vs Youtuber fight where Lil Baby performed. These fights were also trash, and I also pirated them.

I guess this is our new normal…real life “celebrity” death match?

4) French president got slapped

I’m not sure why homie got slapped…but I’m sure the slapper felt he deserved it so I put this in neither here nor there. This is super duper wild, if only someone could’ve slapped Trump!

⚜️ @AlexpLille

#Macron se fait gifler en direct de #Tain

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GREAT

3) New Ocean Alert

I am happy to announce that scientists have officially let us know that we have another ocean! Vibes!

Apparently there’s this ocean around Antartica that they’re calling the Southern Ocean. I personally think they could’ve got more creative with this, but geographically it makes sense.

Also, if you care about this ocean then perhaps skip out next time on the “Chilean sea bass” aka the Patagonian toothfish which isn’t from Chile…nor is it a bass. Marketers came up with this name in the 70s to appeal to the American eaters lol. In fact, fish apparently often get mislabeled to hide the real identity which sounds like a True Crime x Food Network series waiting to happen. This fish is not yet endangered, but it is “overfished” meaning it could be…soon.

I wonder which influencer will be the first to take pics in the Southern Ocean!

2) Best Visuals from Videos

There were a bunch of really cute music videos that premiered this week. The songs were good too, I guess. I was more into the aesthetics more than anything else. Click the images to see the videos.

Feelin Peachy- Kodak Black

Need to Know - Doja Cat (racial chat veteran, current visual queen)

Thot Shit - Megan Thee Stallion

1) Avalanche - Migos

The Migos released their new album “Culture III,” on Friday and it’s pretty solid. The guys have always been so much more talented to me than the average person gives them credit for. They’re actually poets, whether you like their poems or not.

The first song on the album really stands out to both me and Jay-Z:

On “Avalanche” the Atlanta trio all float immaculately over The Temptations “Papa Was a Rolling Stone,” and producer/4th Migo DJ Durel gives new life to the classic instrumental. This is definitely my favorite thing this week.

Well, that’s all I’ve got folks. As per the title of this email, you can now find this weekly wonder at www.baddie5000.com which should make it easier for you to