⏰ you know what time it is ⏰

volume 19

You actually may not know what time it is because it’s Daylight Saving Time. As soon as they said they was trying to “lock the clocks” I knew that time was not real. How can the government vote on the time? Lol?

It’s literally been  364 days since the last Baddie 5000 post. I’ve been busy living my life to the fullest and please don’t doubt that. I won’t make promises, but I believe it would be in everyone’s best interest if I wrote here more. 

💉TUMMY TUCK ➡️ CARTEL CATASTROPHE 🇲🇽

This past week, two of the four black Americans that were kidnapped by armed Mexican cartel members were found dead. 3 guy friends were accompanying their lady friend to get cosmetic surgery.

Like the considerate faction they are, the cartel issued an apology

I cannot wrap my brain around driving 29 hours from South Carolina to Mexico to get a tummy tuck. I feel like she could’ve got one in Miami and put it on Klarna? And that’s no shade. Being in a car with 3 men sounds painful with or without going under the knife, do not recommend.

Because they’re black, stories of the victims’ past drug charges came to light. I’m not going to hold you, the story felt narcotic when I first heard it too…but that’s none of my business.

This crazy “accidental” kidnapping took place in a town called Matamoros, which literally translates to “Moor killer” leading me to believe that they should’ve never drove through those parts as Los Negros.

Also why would you pay for a tummy tuck when you can just tuck your tummy into your tights like the rest of us? I’ll have you know there are plenty a persons in many a nations willing to risk quite a few things just to lay up under the folds of a FUPA, so I’ve heard.

You can do what you want with your body but as a reminder you don’t need elective surgery…but you do need to vote for yourself in the election of love.

Rest in Peace to our fallen countrymen, and thoughts and prayers to the survivors.

🐱POPPIN P ➡️ CEO OF BET 👩🏽‍💼

Since she has a book coming out, former CEO of BET Debra Lee decided to tell us all about the affair she had with the network’s founder Bob Johnson.

(Ironically this story drops as news of black men Tyler Perry and Byron Allen are independently seeking to buy back the once black owned brand.)

Lee speaks of her mentor Johnson holding her job over her head when she wanted to end the relationship. Johnson later left after he sold the company to Viacom, and Lee became CEO.

philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_

Former BET CEO Debra Lee talks about the affair she and BET founder Bob Johnson had when they were both married

Girl, you are known as the woman who cancelled BET Uncut, the ICONIC programming that raised a nation. According to Lee she wanted to push the company into a new era of “family, community, and uplift,” after her own personal era of corporate concubinage.

Luckily many of us will always remember the legendary NSFW videos from Bet UnCut such as “No Panties On The Dancefloor”

as well as “Money in a Ziplock Bag”

I won’t spend time shading her for using sex to get success. Maybe we should all try it. I didn’t fuck to get where I am but I am getting fucked (psychologically) to stay here.

🎸 ROLLING LOUD ➡️ & WRONG 🚫

Rolling Loud came back again and I’ma stream her every time, it keeps me young.

Coi Leray did great, her live show has gotten ten times better. We are hoping and praying the same for New York City’s high yellow black queen Ice Spice, who is simply impressive without doing or saying much. Like.

Now onto the actual mess.

Nicki Minaj came out during Lil Wayne’s set with an unnecessary backpack on. Yes it was Chanel, but she’s 40. I’m not age shaming, or maybe I am because I personally phased out most of my backpacking in the 3rd grade.

I’m not saying you can’t wear backpack as a grown woman but why would you? Perhaps her son’s snacks were in there.

As if things couldn’t get worse, Onika gets up there trying to be shady and got her karma quicker than you could say “South Side Jamaica Queens.”

On her new song, “Red Ruby Da Sleeze” she samples Lumidee’s “Never Leave You” which didn’t need to be touched in my opinion. Bonafide classic on its own, honestly

The song is okay I guess, but I am judging her for the title… trying to align herself with a street gang that her husband is allegedly affiliated with. It’s just not giving legendary behavior. Now had she joined the gang on her own accord like Cardi B, I would respect it more.

Nicki has a bar in the song where she says “I don’t fuck with horses like Christopher Reeves” a clear jab at fellow rapper Megan The Stallion… as if Megan doesn’t have enough going on. I guess this is clever if you were born in 1990 or earlier, but Gen Z was in that audience and had no idea what the hell she’s talking about.

Also, why do black people add a “S” on everything that man’s name is Christopher Reeve, singular.

She gets up on the stage breaking down the bar like it’s worth a Pulitzer and then the DJ proceeds to fuck up her mix CATASTROPHICALLY. You reap what you sow…you back what you pack!

Also at Rolling Loud…

Lil Uzi wore one of Prince’s outfits and it was not giving ! Jay-Z allegedly once told Uzi he reminds him of Prince. But Jay-Z also said being called “capitalist” is like being called “Nigger” so do with that what you will.

I do love when Uzi busts that little sassy Philadelphia hip shaking dance, as he should:

🤎💕 @Prxncessteee

U see what I see🥴?

Prince loved God, so I don’t think he would fancy his suit being worn on such a “Satanic” stage? Then again, there is not much that Prince actually liked because mostly everything is mediocre (except God)

“I like to believe my inspiration comes from God,” Prince told CNN’s Larry King in December 1999. “I’ve always known God is my creator. Without him, nothing works.”

Fans were up in arms when Uzi performed a brand new song where he says, “I make a City Girl believe in Satan” alluding to his gorgeous girlfriend Jatavia aka JT of the City Girls. I have no opinion on this right now. Plus the song didn’t even sound good.

Speaking of JT I loved this interview she did with Angie Martinez where she gets so real and deep about her life. Growing up with a mom on drugs, feeling abandoned, mental health, working to over come trauma, being in love etc.

MUSIC BY MEN

I’ll leave you with two of my favorite songs right now…they’re by men despite it being women’s history month whatever the fuck that means.

Don Toliver’s new concept album Love Sick is so good. He’s a legend in the making. In an interview with Joe Budden on Patreon he talks about how Kanye told him (paraphrase) “If you don’t feel it in your veins, it’s not it.”

I pray and beg all of us to follow this sentiment in everything we do (except drugs).

This song with Charlie Wilson feels high:

Young Nudy’s new project Gumbo is a classic already.

All his food songs are historically amazing. “Portabella” is about drugs and feels like it

-Baddie5000