James Harden & Lil Baby's relationship makes me uncomfortable
As much as I wanted to continue to lay in bed because I don’t feel well today & continue argue with someone on Twitter over Dave on FXX, here I am!
For anyone reading this online and not via email: you miss out on the custom banners I make every week, which are sometimes really good. That’s why you need to become an email subscriber. We are almost at 150! Which is nuts because I don’t know 150 people in real life. If I do, I have repressed them all in my healing journey.
If you’re new, every Sunday we break down events in the week as either “late,” “great,” or “neither here nor there.” That’s what we finna do right now:
7) Michael Rubin’s All White 4th of July Party
Last week volume 12 ‘s intro speaks in jest or in seriousness about how July 4th is the best day to test someone’s wokeness: are they celebrating America’s birthday or nah?
But, once you’re wealthy you don’t really have to be woke anymore. Green becomes your most important color. Except for that one time a Hermes employee profiled Oprah Thee Winfrey when she was trying to buy a Birkin. Disgusting.
Philadelphia Sixer’s co-owner, billionaire and Meek Mill’s white best friend Michael Rubin stole Diddy’s concept: and had an all white party for the 4th of July.
Should white people be allowed to have “all white parties.” ? I know it refers to the dress code, but it doesn’t feel right to me considering all these social cancellations and the new found wokeness afoot. But can billionaires even get cancelled?
There was a whole lot of money in that MF with other billionaire attendees and best buds Robert Kraft and Jay-Z (you’ll recall we talked about this 1%er bromance of Kraft x Hov x Rubin in volume 9) and a slew of other less rich famous people.
Here are some highlights from the party:
-Uzi had a dance off from Bobby Shmurda...when we really just want to know if the former really assaulted/stuck a gun in his ex’s belly...and when will the latter finally release music?
-JT of the City Girls said Beyonce complimented her.
-James Harden (rap game unicorn) was openly cheating on Lil Baby by tickling Meek?
-Meek (highly sensitive on the skin and the emotions) allegedly got into it with Travis Scott at this event.
-Beyonce posed for 0 photos at this party, and didn’t post any either. Which is why it’s in the late category.
6) Diddy Claims He Had 15 Roaches on His Face
Although absolutely nobody asked him, Diddy let us know about a personal awakening he had one day after waking up with 15 roaches on his face.
I just do not believe this, and find it offensive to those who actually have roaches (not me, but ya’ll that do). The internet started making all of these unfunny jokes about the matter “rT iF yOu’Re oNe oF tHe RoAcHeS on DiDdy’S fAce,” and other posts like that.
However, for me I felt the most for Janice Combs…Diddy’s mom.
I just want to know what stage of Diddy’s life did he have 15 roaches on his face? I can’t see this being in Janice’s home. Plus, Diddy’s dad was allegedly a pusherman who worked alongside Frank Lucas. Although he died when he was 3… I just can’t see Janice putting her child in this predicament!
When ya’ll try to flex about how hard you had it…please remember you’re embarrassing your mothers.
5) James Harden & Lil Baby’s Bromance
Something rubs me the wrong way about James Harden in general… but especially his on going fling with Lil Baby. Of course, I believe it’s important to love who you want to love. There’s just something about Harden I don’t trust, and makes me feel squeamish. My intuition is very strong and I’m usually never wrong.
For Lil Baby’s birthday months back, James Harden upstaged Lil Baby’s actual girl by giving him 100K, a Richard Mille watch and a bunch of literal honey buns. Honey bun is slang for $100,000. I just hope they didn’t actually eat the buns way too much sugar and they have too much money for struggle snacks.
Anyway Lil Baby and James Harden have been seen frolicking awkwardly as fuck in the Parisian streets. Le Baby! Le Baby!
Shortly after this, Lil Baby was arrested briefly for marijuana possession but he’s out now. This really pissed me off. Harden isn’t playing right now, so why couldn’t he say it was his weed? From what I understand this guy is good in the beginning of the season but stinks when it really counts. Which is clear in this scenario.
Like I said, I don’t trust this guy and plenty of other people don’t know either one of them, just like me, seem to agree in the comments (best source of information known to modern man.)
NEITHER HERE NOR THERE
4) Vax That Thang Up
Nostalgic Louisiana rappers Juvenile, Mannie Fresh and Mia X were commissioned by black dating app BLK to remix “Back That Ass Up” in support of getting black people to take the vaccine:
As a black that works in marketing, I’m all for people getting their coin where they can especially Mia X! And, I suppose this is a good message to spread right? I haven’t grown any strange limbs after my vaccine but now it won’t cover the Delta strain?
Naturally, many black people have had a strong aversion to the vaccine due to the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment, where the government purposely didn’t treat hundreds of poor black Southern men with the disease although said they were treating them…as to study the effects of non-treatment.
Take one look at the YouTube comments of the above video to see what I mean… and the votes, 13K thumbs up and 15K thumbs down. Damn! The raps are pretty cringe, I’m not going to lie.
But, with only 35% vaccination rate in Louisiana… I suppose I understand Vax That Ass Up.
In digital marketing, views are the only thing that really matters…whether people hate it or love it. They’re talking so the campaign was likely a success in BLK’s eyes. BLK is owned by Match.com but they have a black man running it… if that makes any of the black people shading this feel better? Probably not.
3) Empire State Building Fireworks
For the 4th of July, our city which is notoriously really smart at spending money decided to shoot fireworks from the top of the Empire State Building.
I can’t tell if this is tight, or traumatic? I definitely can see Cuomo in his extravagant Italian glory demanding we do a really big display in honor of the healthcare workers.
But what about the healthcare workers who survived 9/11? Should we do these cool drone fireworks instead since many people, gentrifiers mostly, can’t tell the audio difference between them & gunshots?
Also, most importantly…how can Cuomo spend money on giving us more skyscraper trauma when he needs to invest on fixing the infrastructure. This week’s storm proved it.
Why didn’t any of those people wading through murky MTA floodwaters this week… use one of those free newspaper dispensers as a floating device? Or at least, find an alternate route? God bless them and their eternally soiled skin 🙏🏿
2) Police Fails
I saw this amazing video of a police officer on a bike trying to pop a wheelie (you’ll never be a 12’o clock boy, pal!) and bust his ass this week. In trying to find it again, I now realize it’s from 2019. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t still great and that it shouldn’t still be celebrated today:
One of the suits was brought forth by Letitia James, our Attorney General whom I see often at the Food Emporium on my block. It makes sense that we’re neighbors, since we are both those girls!
One of the coolest things (if politicians can be considered “cool”) about James… other than the fact that she is the first black to hold statewide office in New York and the first woman to be elected attorney general… is that she got her JD at Howard University. Very black, very cool.
1) Nikole Hannah Jones to UNC
Speaking of HBCUs… let’s talk about the HBIC of the week, Nikole Hannah Jones. The New York Times journalist of 1619 fame, has declined her dusty, second-hand tenure offer from University of North Carolina Chapel Hill and will be taking her talents to Howard University, instead!
As Twitter philosophers have pointed out, why should you go where you’re tolerated? Go where you’re appreciated!
As a brief back story, UNC...who last peaked when Jay-Z and Mya wore their jerseys in the “Best of Me” video, wasn’t trying to grant Jones tenure in her role as some special professor. However, all of her predecessors in the role were granted tenure. Although Jones is a MacArthur Genius grant recipient, she’s still black and challenging the power structure, so I’m not surprised.
UNC caught heat and eventually tried to offer her tenure to which she said
I’m soooo prada her. This truly invigorated my black academic soul when she announced it. Take a look at her official statement here.
Despite (mostly?) all of the HBCU’s being founded and named after white people...this is lit as fuck.
I wish I could place a camera on top of a roach in the cafeteria to see the moment when Jones bumps into Cosby apologist and Howard Dean of Students, Phylicia Rashad (if she isn’t forced to step down)!
Even if I did do this incredible journalistic act, it probably wouldn’t go half as as viral as Diddy’s fake roach story. The truth hurts.